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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What did the baby light bulb say to his mama? I love you watts and watts.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face?"

A fish swims into a concrete wall and says "Dam!!"

Dyslexics of the world untie!!!

I often miss my ex, but my aim is improving

If you're opposed to gay marriage, blame straight couples. They're the ones having all the gay babies.

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull? Lipstick.
 

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I take it that it is snowing in Iowa, Bill. [uhoh]
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I take it that it is snowing in Iowa, Bill. [uhoh]
Actually it's 60 degrees and raining. I just try to get the jump on cabin fever and avoid the rush. [lol]

What do they say to a Harley owner who's wearing a suit and tie? Will the defendant please rise.

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The location of the dirt bag.

Did you hear about the guy that was ticketed riding his motorcycle 165mph in a school zone? They sentenced him to work for Harley-Davidson. They wanted to get him as far away from motorcycles as they could. [lol]
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
"I just flew in from Vegas and boy are my arms tired" Henny Youngman, Bob Hope and hundreds of others.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
An elderly couple (anyone older than me) visit their doctor together. The doctor says "What's the problem?" The husband says, "We don't seem to enjoy sex as much as we used to". The doctor asks their ages and they're both in their 90's. The doc says,"When did you first notice this?" The wife says, "Well twice last night and once again this morning".
 

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The Italian Virginity Test

Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a “Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit”… a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."
Mario asks, "So, what do I do with these things, doc?
The doctor replies, "Before you climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.
If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen!', ...you hit her with the shovel.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
AlanI: That joke is totally inappropriate, offensive and sexist. I loved it. [:D]

The Italian Virginity Test

Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin.
His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a "Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit"… a small can of red paint, a small can of blue paint and a shovel."
Mario asks, "So, what do I do with these things, doc?
The doctor replies, "Before you climb into bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red and the other ball blue.
If she says, 'That's the strangest pair of balls I've ever seen!', ...you hit her with the shovel.
 
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This can't go on much longer without including a Knock, Knock joke....

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
Wendy wind blows de cradle will rock.
 
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Guy walks into a tavern and sits next to a woman at the bar. He says to her, "Do you know the difference between a bj and a reuben sandwich?" She says, "No." He says, "You wanna do lunch?"
 
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